I was whisking up eggs, sugar and cottage cheese last night to make Syrniki (a type of Ukrainian cheesy pancake) and suddenly realised the rotary whisk I was using must be nearly as old as myself. It is still going strong (unlike myself đ€Ł) I remember growing up in the sixties and watching my mother whip up sponge cakes using that same whisk as I waited eagerly to lick out the bowl. Ooh yummy! When I married at the age of eighteen my mother gave me that whisk along with a load of other domestic paraphernalia, a sort of perfect housewife starter kit. Obviously didnât work as I divorced seven years later!
Poor Queen of Coins has ageing bones. She enjoys many thrones, crimson velvet and gold with roses, shamrock, thistles, acanthus, oak leaves but none have wheels.
It doesnât do to be seen as weak and mortal, pushed around like those who cannot stand for the Queen, endure hunger, isolation, cold but still have strength to fight a bitter war.
The luxurious bathroom facilities at Ward 3A, Raigmore Hospital, Inverness. Note the lack of grab rails, lack of wash basin, lack of wheelchair turning space and low height of loo seat. I reckon this is a throne the Queen would politely decline.
For the first time on the Purple Hermit we have a poem from a guest poet, fellow Scottish writer and friend, Alastair Simmons. Enjoy!
Blue Poppies (In memory of Esther)
She took ages to answer the door in the heavy summer rain. Finally, she fumbled open the catch. Her hand was bandaged, her eyes blackened, on a white face. âErr, Iâve had a fall,â she said, her hands still shaking. âErr, Iâve come about the garden, gardening,â I said. Suddenly, her eyes sparked then ignited ninety plus years held in darkening pupils, the delicate filament in her blue iris illuminated. âDid I tell you about trekking in the Himalayas? Right over the pass for six days. I remember now, the blue poppies, wonderful,â she said. She began talking, as if sheâd known me all of my relatively short life. She took my arm and leaned hard on the old wooden stick, âNow let me show you the roses.â The summer rain pelted like an Asian monsoon. We didnât notice.
By Alastair Simmons 2012
Alastair lives on the Northeast Scottish coast, finding inspiration in the landscapes of Scotland and Northern England, and also itâs cities. And the gardens he creates, working as a gardener. âPoetry is about finding connection and expressing that feeling, whether itâs people, nature or worlds we find ourselves in.â
This post is a little different – not poetry but the first short story Iâve written for a long time. Itâs loosely based on my family history. Any feedback or comments would be greatly appreciated.
image created by the author
The passenger sun deck was anything but sunny. It was deserted except for a man with two huskies sheltering beneath an orange cape. A casual drizzle swirled from a concrete sky. Alina realised for the umpteenth time since arriving in Scotland that she was inappropriately dressed in her chic wool coat and cloche hat. The world around her spun shades of grey. Glassy waves frothed by the railings leaving lacy patterns of spume across the deck and marking her boots. The wind pummelled her eighty year old body like an invisible giant.
Alina clung to the metal rail and gazed into a whirlpool of cloud and water. She managed to suppress her nausea. The Pentland Firth felt as hostile as the English Channel in 1947 when she first arrived in Britain clad in her refugee rags. She looked down into the churning troughs of waves and imagined the exhilaration of jumping overboard, the shock of the cold. How long would it take to drown? Would it be peaceful or would her lungs fight for breath despite herself? She hoped the cold would take her first. As a small child she witnessed a Jewish woman drown in the River Dniper before the Nazis invaded. It was a hot afternoon and her family were picnicking on the shore when her brother spotted a body floating near Monastyr Island, long black hair trailing in the water like a death veil. Papa swam out but it was too late. Afterwards, Papa wondered if it had been suicide. Rumours were circulating about what the Germans did to conquered cities but no one wanted to believe them.
Alina peered into the opaque void looking for The Old Man of Hoy in the same way sheâd searched the horizon for the white cliffs of Dover exactly sixty years ago. She was haunted by Vera Lynnâs song ever since she learned her parents had been granted EVW status and that they would soon begin a new life in England. On the boat crossing the Channel the idea of beautiful bluebirds and white cliffs filled her with hope even while helplessly vomiting. Alina was the only one in her family to be sea sick. Her brother, Ivan stuffed his face with salami sandwiches like there was no tomorrow and raced around the boat exploring. Alina arrived in Dover stinking and humiliated without achieving a single glimpse of the famous cliffs or bluebirds. Years later she found out bluebirds did not exist in Britain and she felt cheated.
There was no sign of The Old Man of Hoy. Sheâd seen postcards of the sandstone landmark in the Hamnavoe gift shop and bought one for her husband Dmitri together with a small box of Orkney fudge. For herself she chose a block of handmade lavender and calendula soap coloured blue and yellow like the Ukrainian flag. The soap was called Forget-me-not. She was groping around in her bag for a handkerchief when the ship reared and bucked like a wild horse. She lost her balance and grabbed at the rail wrenching her arthritic elbow. Her heavy bag slipped from her shoulder spilling objects across the wet deck.
âLet me helpâ, said the husky man. His face was weathered and unshaven. He crouched down picking up her purse, powder compact, lipstick, hairbrush, a packet of Jelly Babies and a leather album embossed with gold lettering in Cyrillic script. The man carefully shook off droplets of water from each item and wiped them on his trousers before replacing them in Alinaâs bag. He released the dogs who began sniffing her feet. One of them jumped up placing paws on her shoulders and tried to lick her face. Alina recoiled, lurched sideways and began screaming at the beasts. âGet away, get away!â
She was suddenly back in the camp, tangled in barbed wire with the fetid breath of a German Shepherd in her face and strange guttural cries echoing in the night.
âItâs okay,â said the man, âthey wonât hurt you. Theyâre just saying hello.â He steered her toward a seat. âTake a minuteâ.
âIâm alright, thank you,â she said but she was trembling. Her hat slipped askew half covering one eye and she straightened it.
A woman appeared beside them. Her face was scrunched up like a ball of wet paper. She held two plastic cups of coffee.
âHere you go, love. Have one of theseâ, she said to Alina. âI think you need it more than I doâ. The kindness in her voice was unexpected and she patted Alinaâs arm.
Alina suppressed tears. âThank you,â she murmured. The coffee was too sweet but it was hot and soothing.âMy name is Moira, by the way and this is my husband Alastair. Our scary fur balls are Snowflake and River. Theyâre completely harmless you know.â
âI am Alina Stepanivna Kravchukâ, replied the old lady. âI am sorry, I am afraid of big dogsâ.
âWondered what your accent was,â said Alastair. âWhere are you from?â
âI am from Yorkshireâ, said Alina. She put the empty coffee cup down on the seat and the wind swept it away in an instant. One of the dogs lunged after it, barking. Alina pulled her hat down covering her ears which were pierced with tiny gold hoops.
âYou donât sound like a Yorkshire womanâ said Moira. âBut itâs a lovely accent whatever it is. So are you a tourist? Itâs the wrong time of year for a holidayâ. The woman laughed revealing a broken front tooth.
âI am not on holiday, I do not believe in holidays. I am looking for my daughterâ, said Alina.
She produced a photograph from her coat pocket and held it out to Moira. It showed a teenage girl with long dark hair wearing a gypsy dress, strings of beads and a serious expression. She was perched on the bonnet of a vintage Land Rover surrounded by moorland. The image was over exposed and faded with age. âSheâs called Vita. Do you know her?â
âGolly Moses! I doubt it. Donât know anyone named Vita. Do you Alastair? That looks like an old picture. My mam had a similar dress when I was a kid. Whereabouts does your daughter stay?â
âI do not have her addressâ, said Alina. Her pale eyes suddenly brimmed with tears and Moira noticed her cataracts. âI only have thisâ. She unfolded a crumpled newspaper cutting.
âDisabled artist storms Scotlandâ, Moira read out loud. âOrkney based Vita Kravchuk launches solo exhibition âMaking Wavesâ, An Lanntair, Stornoway, October 2005. Her abstract drawings are inspired by the dramatic seas of the Far North.â
Moira looked closely at the small publicity photograph before passing it to Alastair. âIs that her in the wheelchair?â
Alinaâs face contorted. âYes, she is a cripple. A disappointment but we did our best.â
âMy brother is visually impaired,â said Moira, âand heâs just as good as anyone else. Your daughter is obviously talentedâ.
âIt was always art, art, art with Vita. All that modern stuff and fancy ideas. She never wanted anything normal like babies or a steady job. Such a difficult girl.â
âWell, you can choose your friends but you canât choose your familyâ, said Moira.
âPah friends! I do not believe in friends.â Alina rose abruptly and offered a pound coin to Moira. âFor the coffee,â she said.
âNo money required. The coffee is a small gift from a new friend,â said Moira. âPerhaps we can help you find your girl? We own a guest house in Stromness. You can stay the night with us and tomorrow weâll take you to the art gallery where someone might know Vita. Alastair can carry your bag. Itâs too heavy for a lady your age.â
The shipâs tannoy made a garbled announcement about their imminent arrival on the island. Moira grabbed Alinaâs arm. The huskies were circling around and growling.
âNo, no, noâŠâ Alina protested, her eyes widening in alarm as she was escorted away.
Alastair interrupted, âLook, a puffin!â He pointed towards the stern.
Looking back, Alina saw a strange bird like a parrot, black and white with a curved orange beak and orange feet. It flapped extended wings in a menacing manner before landing on top of the shipâs emergency lifebuoy. The bird and Alina looked at each other for a long, frozen moment as itâs feathers slowly changed to blue.
We follow the signs, white on blue autumn clouds shifting. Slings and arrows show one way to exit. We follow the twisted pitted road down the line. We avoid potholes, broken tarmac, pines felled by storms littering the verge. We drive slowly around those tight bends. The road south unspools an old home movie. In Golspie the doors burst open, the sun breaks gilding the moss, the dry stone walls, the sycamores. The paramedic with kind eyes wishes you breath. Magic moss crumbles gold dust between your fingers until only the scent of earth remains.
The passage of one life is like a poem,
the end an echo of the start; a solitary
fight to enter this world, darkness
to light. The bloodying of white
sheets observed by strangers in a room
with thin curtains, mirrored in the final
stanza only without felicitations. You hope you die before you get old.
The romance, the action, the clues lie
in the middle section of your poem,
an exposition on your main theme;
a search for happiness, love, money,
acceptance, fluffy cats, fame, red hair,
a good shag or prize-winning dahlias. You hope you die before you get old.
Whatever floats your boat, baby!
By stanza seven you learn you are not
a boat but a desert island, unexplored. You hope you die before you get old.
You sit on the shore watching the murky
tide of water and wait for the Ferry. Angel
whispers in your ear. It is the jade game,
the sky is not the same blue, the sun holds
no heat and no one will ever truly get you.
In stanza nine the diminishing begins.
Your body shrinks (except for your nose).
You shape-shift, spend more time looking
down and back. Chins multiply but hair
and friendships fall away. Downsizing. You hope you die before you get old.
You canât piss in a pot no more.
You canât recall names no more.
You hope you die before you get old.
The passage of your life is like a poem
structured by repetition, rhythm, rhyme,
recurring motifs and metaphors exploring
a theme (same shit different day). The arc,
the meaning of your story remains hidden
to you (although strangers see) until
the moment God turns over your page.
the fall begins
at conception
a slow decline
unnoticeable
slippage seven
ages in one
arbitrary             miscarriage
accidental
cancerous
murder             by fire water
dis-eased
melancholy
canât remember     faces no more
the brutality
of old age
canât piss          in a pot no more
or a swift
acceleration
choosing          an open window
irresistible
gravity calling
200 mph
a dislocation          of ghost limbs
hot wind
shape shifting           hair aflame
till you hit
ground zero               running
the red light
Iâve won this battle but I canât win the war.
Like a vampire back from the dead,
I regenerate in fancy dress disguise.
This moustache doesnât suit me at all
and spaghetti legs flip/flopping
every which way – most unnerving.
My spine is trying to reach the floor,
running low on back bone and needing a nap.
My arms whirl in decreasing circles,
muscles have given up the ghost. Where is the sultry woman in the gold silk robe?
My heart still beats in dedicated syncopation,
an expectation of holy communion, the red
wine that I must sip not spill. My heart
forgives any casual blasphemy,
rebellion of malformation.
And I, the unbeliever, swear to uphold the creed.
On my left shoulder, smooth as ocean
a lonesome fish swims against the tide
and dreams of new beginnings. Where is the chamomile child spinning down the hill?
She forgets the scars and stripes, puckering
my wrist, tribal markings. A rite of passage
or a reclamation of self? Mutinous but lightening.
My translucent skin, wafer thin, is a manuscript
revealing the indigo text of an alien race. Where is the pearly newborn hidden in her crib?
So near and yet so far. I must cut deep
to draw blood. Beneath the thumb is the scared
and sacred spot where the pulse beats.