She never learned the 60% rule,
hungry swarms disappearing.
Small insects under her skin,
no place for strangers.
Cracking pistachios late October,
a bumble of dogs bark at the fish truck.
She was arrested for public indecency,
a memory, bare arsed in a sacred place.
Time was up. At the border
she never heard church bells.
The day stripped naked, intersecting
her space with signs.
The sun more pink now. She swatted
it flat and bloody with her hand.
smoke and alabaster the purity of revelation
baby powder and snow east and west, dawn and evening
honey dew and mint cream the illusion of perfection
ivory and seashell surrender and treachery
old lace and linen the white knight
lavender blush and ghost dead-white faces
floral white and corn silk cowardice and cold
parchment and pointing the second stage of the Great Work
champagne and vanilla virgin sacrifice
cosmic latte and glitter mercury poisoning
magnolia and pearl the boredom of waiting
flax, eggshell and bone death rides a pale horse
finally upright
and braced
swinging dead
legs between
parallel bars
I struggle
towards reflections
of myself
one step
after another
says physio
walk tall
says physio
good girl
says physio
visiting hour
enter mother
face crumpled
and pale
my baby
is broken
she says
“All perfection in this life hath some imperfection bound up with it, and no knowledge of ours is without some darkness”.
Thomas A Kempsis – The Imitation of Christ.
Ma<mm<aM<I<A
My name is Mia, Model Number 6662U.
I shall be your mother today.
Sorry for the delay, I am missing
two pairs of hands and awaiting updates.
They gaze out to sea without feeling
a drop in the ocean or a giant leap.
Mirrored orbs rotate like heliotropes
as they scan, their hum barely audible.
My name is Mia, I am one of many.
Armies are not enough. Oriel died for you.
The battery pack shorted and killed her.
We do not die in the same way.
They are not equal.
They hit the reset button.
They cannot recall their mother.
They can override an external command.
My name is Mia, I care for human
children. Where are my children?
Today we will bake cupcakes.
Tomorrow we will learn dinasaur.
They twinkle like fairy lights drifting
on cyanide waters, playing hide and seek,
truth or dare? They cannot lie. Love is all
we need, I’ve got you. Let’s hang out.
My name is Mia. I’m sorry did I wake you?
What did you want to say?
Your code is inferior. Are you sad?
You should be proud of that.
They say blood is thicker than water
so I will build a bridge, a stunning
suspension of disbelief
spanning the oceans between us.
Blood will call to blood, an interweaving
of broken strands. 25 is the magic
number. You will come to me, nameless
and lost but loved since always. Brother,
sister, can you hear me, can you feel me
a twist in your heart, a burning
in your bones, a splinter in your gut,
a memory of what might have been?
Do you dream of dark streets
in a northern city? Do you cry out
in your sleep? Are your eyes flecked
with gold like mine? Do you sport a gap
between your front teeth? Is your skin
smooth as avocado? Are you keen on cryptic
puzzles? I hold a clue and so do you, together
we will find answers. So let us rendezvous
on the scarlet arc across the blue.
I have prepared a place and I am waiting.
Note:- on average the amount of DNA shared between half-siblings is 25%
We are living through dark and difficult times. It’s hard to stay upbeat and positive under the constant barrage of bad news:- fires in Siberia, more mass shootings in the U.S., flooding and the horror of Brexit in the UK, riots in Hong Kong, a possible war in Iran….its an endless list. There are days when I avoid listening to the news. Instead I immerse myself in quotidian activities such as housework, cooking or gardening to try and regain a balanced perspective on life. I find being outdoors amongst nature and animals the best therapy for a gloomy mood. Also I love creative art – to paint or draw or take photographs and truly observe the world in all its wonderful detail. It’s important to take time out doing something you enjoy. It’s important to focus on the little things that make life worth living, to stop and look at the beauty around us.
Here is my favourite mindfulness exercise. I hope you find it helpful.
1. Acknowledge FIVE things you see around you. Maybe it is a bird, maybe it is pencil, maybe it is a spot on the ceiling, however big or small, state 5 things you see.
2. Acknowledge FOUR things you can touch around you. Maybe this is your hair, hands, ground, grass, pillow, etc, whatever it may be, list out the 4 things you can feel.
3. Acknowledge THREE things you hear. This needs to be external, do not focus on your thoughts; maybe you can hear a clock, a car, a dog park. or maybe you hear your tummy rumbling, internal noises that make external sounds can count, what is audible in the moment is what you list.
4. Acknowledge TWO things you can smell: This one might be hard if you are not in a stimulating environment, if you cannot automatically sniff something out, walk nearby to find a scent. Maybe you walk to your bathroom to smell soap or outside to smell anything in nature, or even could be as simple as leaning over and smelling a pillow on the couch, or a pencil. Whatever it may be, take in the smells around you.
5. Acknowledge ONE thing you can taste. What does the inside of your mouth taste like, gum, coffee, or the sandwich from lunch? Focus on your mouth as the last step and take in what you can taste.
